one of the challenges of making a home away from home is how to keep our personal pleasant experience, and the sense of tranquillity while facing any possible vicious cycle at the same time. there is a saying, the success of a diplomat’s husband depends largely on the success of the diplomat’s wife in her diplomatic ladies circle. a big thanks to the acknowledgement given to women’s power and position. on the flip side of the coin however, this unwritten sort of rule can be so absurd. how could a husband professionalism, efficiency and performance be fairly, FAIRLY evaluated, verified, and concluded based on a wife’s reputation? welcome to the whirlwind of diplomatic life!
in a handbook “Useful Tips for the Diplomat’s Wife”, the writer wrote “ it has been said that a good diplomat is one who gets along well with members of the Mission’s community first before they can be a good diplomat with the local or the foreign community. Likewise, a good diplomat’s wife is one who could do all the above, and more.” i would like to share my personal evaluation of this very interesting statement that consists of the role of a diplomat, and the role of a diplomat’s wife. first, it is an anonymous, and when the source of the remark is largely unknown, credit can’t be given and as such the validity is highly questionable. therefore, it is an opinion which cannot be verified and thus applied across all situations. well, this doesn’t mean i do not value the writer’s insight because i believe she was giving some sort of a guidelines on how a diplomat’s wife must prepare herself. i too, somehow agree that it could be true that a diplomat is more likely to be able to get along well with members of the missions who share the same cultural, social, and linguistics background before he or she would be able to effectively fit in the local and foreign community, given the fact that the local and foreign society definitely pose much more challenging colossal settings that require one to first have advanced level of understanding as well as adaptability. however, i’m afraid, it is not imperative for a diplomat to master the first before he could do the latter. two, contrary to popular opinion, obviously contemporary diplomatic agenda has somehow demanded more active participations of diplomats’ wives. diplomacy today is not just a husband’s responsibility. whether we realize it or not, it has become our duty too and in fact, not only we are expected to do more, we indeed can really do more! as such, i fail to understand why some quarters believe that diplomats’ wives should confine themselves to certain groups or mundane activities before they could do more. for me, there’s absolutely no such prerequisite. if we want to make the difference, it’s either we start now, or never!
the chief issue here, are diplomats’ wives perhaps been universally viewed as the key guardians of their diplomat husbands’ success in diplomatic world affair? the answer could be yes or no depending on how we see it. nevertheless, i would just say that if the wives of any diplomat husbands are not favoured by others due to clashes of views and attitude, it would be fair and wise for us to professionally spare their diplomat husbands from the brunt of any negative perception or biasness. even if it has been sort of a diplomatic culture, why should we comply with a practice which is against the very principle of diplomacy itself?
so long we are humans, animosity and discord will permeate every facet of our life. however, given the intellectual faculty, we should be able to minimize or avoid viewing conflict as destructive. for some of us who believe in the teaching of the Holy Quran, it has set us the best ever guidelines on how we show approach conflicts. here too, comes the essence of diplomacy. if we carefully ponder upon God’s manifestation through His various magnificent creations, and use our conscience, we would realize how the whole God’s creations operate on endless conflicts! the law of attraction says male and female attract each other. if people are attracted to the same gender, it is against the nature and is hardly accepted. Religiously, scientifically and socially, such same sex appeal is a disaster. husband and wife usually (i believe) are two different people with the opposite types of character. despite having any possible friction, it is not uncommon to see their very distant traits are actually what complement each other. men are given the physical strength to protect and provide for women, while women are bestowed with emotional strength to shield and tend to men. if the husband is not patient with kids for instance, it’s typically the wife who would become the rescuer, or vice versa. in our religion, men and women are given different roles so they could assist and love each others. in science, we learn that all matters are made up of positive - negative electrons that constantly repel one another. magnetic system works on the rule that opposite charge goes together, similar charge rejects one another. our solar system itself functions on the contradictory gravitational fields of the sun and other planets.
in the bottom line, conflict is everywhere and should never be viewed as a problem. instead, it is the core of our very own existence. conflict should never be an excuse for us to judge, reprimand, or reject others. instead, conflict should be a strong reason for us to appreciate each others. conflict too, should motivate us to look for constructive points that would better benefit everyone. conflict should be a motive for us to identify similarity and focus on how at the same time, both differences and similarities would bring us all together to a whole new level. i don't know, but i just feel that in every conflict, there must be a point where two diverged road will anyhow meet at one point, if only we try to look for it, if only. but how do we do so? with never ending violent tirade, hostile confrontation as well as tussle for power, right, dignity and so on everywhere around the globe, is there no more hope for a much more peaceful world? perhaps, we should start it here, in our diplomatic way because after all, it is our task to facilitate any peace and reconciliation efforts. perhaps, it is timely for us to be more open, keep looking, searching, finding and maintaining peace in conflict. the secret of doing so might be materialized by having a truly sincere heart. a heart that is able and willing to recognise, respect, love, and ACT JUSTLY while keeping balance of two opposite forces at the same time. we can’t totally eliminate conflict. the way to deal with it, is to accept it and to create equilibrium first in our very own diplomatic circle.
