what goes around comes around

giving up our career for the sake of our spouse’s career development is indeed a substantial undertaking. with such great sacrifice, we surely look forward to bring home later, sweet and wonderful memories.

at times however, unexpected turns may rob us away from the dream. whatever it is, believe in reaping what we have sown. so, even if everything appears to be so complicated and against what we strongly believe, be persistent in doing the best we could and in spreading goodwill. people might belittle our unwavering efforts, but remember that our patience and persistent will never fail us. uphold our integrity and the highest standards of ethics at all times.

If we could have such tremendous strength in leaving our precious original life, we too could have all the vigour to face whatever circumstances that come in our path. Remember, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. a special tribute to all diplomats' wives, what goes round, will sooner or later comes around. it's the law of karma. so, think few times before we do anything.

couldn't be happier

"so what's the real perk?", asked a curious friend not long ago after she learnt about me leaving for posting. not quite sure i just threw a smile. deep inside my heart, i myself wasn't sure what we were up to. all my husband and i knew was, it's a huge important decision that would affect us a lot, hopefully in positive ways. We too were both anxious, yet enthusiatic to discover new experience.

mention living abroad as diplomats, and one would visualize a life evolving around high-class communities in fabulous parties and events, excellent pay rise, excorbitant expenses borned by government, luxurious and chic life-style and other attractive and sought after perks. But, one thing for sure, we both know right from start, all those were never in our priority list!

depending on our luck, we might get assigned to a 'hardcore' or 'difficult' location. never underestimate what each place can offer. likewise, never be too optimistics with what each place looks like. it doesn't really matter where we get to make ourselves new homes. but, almost always, the sole biggest problem is more likely with people rather than the place itself.

being diplomats, we need not to worry much about physical protection. with diplomatic immunity, we can rest assured that our security and well-being is always been taken care of. yet, it doesn't equate ourselves with emotionally protection that would shield ourselves from being scarred by others. living in a small group can sometimes makes ourselves be so vulnerable to critics, especially when the world is not dancing to our tunes. smaller community sometimes can precisely make it easier for us to be a subject of social scrutiny and groundless gossips.

we can easily feel sullied when people make deragatory or unflattering remarks right in front us, or most often than not, behind us. while what we mean is just to share an idea for improvement, don't get surprised if people make disparaging comments that not only offend us, but worse it can also disgrace us. as such, we tend to be disappointed and even if our sorrow has waned, we tend to kept the negative impression of the source of soreness. sometimes, we can be deceived by what we see or hear. as normal human beings, we always wanted to be listened to in times of sadness. in anticipation that others would do the same to us, or in our genuine act of sympathy, we might mistakenly give trust to those seems kind to us. however, just like businesses, in desperation, others may betray us , rob us of our peacefulness and misconstrue or even twist facts on purpose, just to make themselves being perceived as better than us. there's also a tendency that we get excluded merely because we discern things in many other different ways than what others may not do.

all these pervailing situations that cause us pain in the neck are destructive should we let ourselves down with endless self-guilt and self-suffering. if viewed in a much more positive attitude however, we'll find it rather constructive. accept the fact that we are not designed to please everybody. so long our conscience is clear that we are doing the right thing, cling to that belief and let others holds theirs. there's a slim chance we could change others but greater and endless chance for us to improve ourselves. so, focus on ourselves instead. our contentment is not based on another human being or situation. focus on what makes us happier and our emotions will not vacillate. our happiness is never dependent on others expectation. under whatever unfavourable circumstances, remember our transient stay is really temporary. regardless of what people might say or do, never forget that we are largely in controlled of our own destiny. above all, there's a more powerful Authority who dictates the order of life. when He says Kumfayakun, even the impossible become possible.

"what's the real perk?". if asked again, i now know what i shall say. Diplomatic life has empowered us. we couldn't be happier with the blessing in disguised that the Al-Mighty is giving us.

no man is an island

moving to and staying in a foreign country can be quite an adjustment to make. in fact, for some, it is a huge challenge and can be an extremely difficult experience to deal with. the absence of family members, relatives, close friends, familiar environment, favourite cuisine, much-loved pastime activity and high profile career, can be rather depressing to some extent. all the WH- questions come into mind. who will be my new friends? to whom can I rely on in time of adversity? where am I going to make myself a new home? how do I do things? why can’t i do routine? and etc would be cluttering mind that if not tackle wisely, one may miserably be taken down the path of anger, anguish and frustration. no man is an island. often, this is the time a shoulder to cry on is very much needed and appreciated, making much often than not, esprit de corps prevails over this overwhelming experience.

try to be kind and supportive to those around us even if people are less kind and supportive to us. that wouldn’t keep us any less anyhow, but always believe that the more we are giving, the more we are getting. living abroad is not always easy, so do establish esprit de corps; the sense of purpose, unity and protectiveness among each other i.e. among our own family, organization or even social circles. honour each others, share the sense of pride, solidarity and enthusiasm, and form a much friendly as well as comforting atmosphere. that would positively impact not only those sharing the same atmosphere but also mirrors a favourable image of the country we represent.

great camaraderie doesn’t have to come only when we speak the same language. sometimes, it’s the differences that make us better together, in fact complement each others and get us achieve the unthinkable. or, at least when things are less auspicious, no road is long with good company. easier said than done. yes it is. as Muslims, we always have the Holy Quran which has provided a definite call; man of the highest level of faith (iman) is he who loves not only The Creator, but also the Nature and OTHER FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS. In the event it is impossible to walk the talk, remember the power of prayer. So do make doa and may we all are united. Ameenn.

the road less travelled

a diplomat’s wife is always seen as a frivolous, intelligent, tactful, articulate, poise, confident and graceful lady. such qualities are almost always imperative in ensuring that she can effectively support a husband’s demanding career and at the same time impact those around her especially among diplomatic corps community itself.

it isn’t any easier than said. it’s something involving the transformation of inner being - emotional, and not to forget physical and mental challenges. as time goes by however, those traits can be picked up but of course through great and deliberate efforts to understand and keen observations rather than through reading or formal training . in that sense, experience is perhaps the best teacher. (or experiencing an experience ourselves is perhaps can precisely make us learn. some people are experienced (in the sense that they are older ((and I suppose wiser ?)) but they do not necessarily learn)

far more crucial is how much we have tried to learn, to emulate and to seek and diversify knowledge and experience itself. here too comes the term life-long learning. there’s no book, journal, paper or research or even short-cut and fast rule to refer to. instead, the openness to learn, to change, to tolerate , to adapt and to step outside the usual sphere or comfort zone will do the difference. life indeed is an adventure of its own for those who have courage to take the road less travelled.

behind every great man

last May marked the completion of my husband and my one year assignment abroad. a year has just passed. yes, just a year, and it has been filled and full of moments of trepidation, worries, and trials that have been pushing us to the limit. Yet, the very same one year has also given us more life wisdom, hard-earned experience we wouldn't get through formal learning, love and more courage to embrace life.

diplomatic life... How indeed, it's more than a glamorous life within diplomatic corps. It's beyond than the willingness to accept a normadic life, the sacrifice to let go one's own career and interest so one can fully support the husband and children while in posting, the acceptance and tolerance of one's husband's goal as one's, the readiness to leave behind many loved ones, the adjustment and adaptation in new cultures and customs, and ultimately, the ability to project the best image of the country one represents. it wouldn't be too much probably to say that a diplomat's wife's roles are akin to those of her husband, if not even greater and yet invisible. Here perhaps comes the saying, behind every great man, indeed, there is always a great woman.

diplomatic life. no matter how fabulous or how treacherous it could be, we would be more than ready to brace you.