of respecting and appreciating cultures

once, i was talking to a retired ambassador and he remarked what i considered as a fatherly advice, " in diplomatic service, you have to love meeting people". i could not agree more with him. my career background in teaching proofs itself as a valuable bonus. i love knowing more people, making new connection and broaden my view of life.

foreign and diplomatic service can indeed be very interesting and exciting if we open up ourselves to new and unknown experience, making us larger than life. as a spouse to a diplomat, i take pride of having the opportunity to see and to feel for myself the beauty of other people's vibrant culture. this host country i am residing in still retains its rich traditional and native legacy, with clear evident of the cultures brought in by its occupants in the distant past. somehow, the blend reflects great acceptance and tolerance of the people, giving this land a unique representation of how east can harmoniously meet west. despite the vastness or diversity of their practices, values, and beliefs and the complexities of their history, the people have great camarederie and in fact have been known as the happiest people in the world!

as i was enjoying the local performances, their medleys of folk songs, graceful dances and traditional musical instrument as well as their hospitality, i couldn't help but wish, how beautiful the world would be if we all take the effort to understand, appreciate and respect each others cultures. opening ourselves is indeed the very first step, the keypoint to cherish both differences and commonalities that should bring out the best of all of us.

beautiful land, beautiful people with beautiful heart. thanks for making me so much welcomed and thanks for widening my horizon :-)

apple polisher

ever wonder why some people are never short of friends? perhaps, one crucial aspect that explain this is their amazing interpersonal skill or intelligence. when the theory of interpersonal intelligence (which is just one of the many multiple intelligences theory) was coined, many, particularly researchers and educators have started to pay greater attention to developing education frames that would develop, and multiply this intelligence. for us adult, interpersonal intelligence too, is indeed a premium and in fact, very much relevant. one important key feature of interpersonal intelligence is our ability to interact, emphatize, understand, assess and interpret others' motivations, desires, feelings and perspectives. This ability can be reflected through language usage (here comes, linguistics intelligence too). any languages used in a very tactful and diplomatic way have more positive impacts on our counterparts and indeed mirror, our interpersonal intelligence. with such intelligence, we are more likely to get along well with people, gain more friends, and have stronger social network of family members as well as acquaintances. don't we realize that sometimes, our mere presence is sometimes enough to bring cheer to others? as diplomats' spouses, supporting our partners' career does not only demand us to just be by his side and take care of his meals and needs and look after our children. in all missions, diplomats' wives have to participate in various meetings and activities, be that among the members their own circles, or among the international diplomatic corps. often, ladies can play a subtle , yet very significant role in forging diplomatic relationship between countries through the multitude of functions such as fund raising activities, and even hi-tea, dinner or even simple coffee morning! so, treat all as important.

as such, it is crucial for us to be socially-conscious in language usage and avoid any forms of insensitive, bias, inconsiderate, selfish and offensive language that could tarnish the reputation of the country's image we always carry with us, and could jeopordize relationship between people and countries. whether we communicate with subordinate, people of the same level or of the a much higher level, always
show respect to their feelings and ideas. academic intelligence may get us a prominent place, but it's the interpersonal intelligence that may get us favoured by many. Distinguish ourselves though from apple-polishing, or brown-nosing. toadying or false-flattering is unethical. never allow such emotional insecurity from invading ourselves. if we truly have a high level
ofinterpersonal intelligence, we should always welcome discussions, offer insights into things, counsel others, respect others temperaments and always cooperate. believe me, we thrive and grow better without being apple-polishers :-)

the road less travelled

a diplomat’s wife is always seen as a frivolous, intelligent, tactful, articulate, poise, confident and graceful lady. such qualities are almost always imperative in ensuring that she can effectively support a husband’s demanding career and at the same time impact those around her especially among diplomatic corps community itself.

it isn’t any easier than said. it’s something involving the transformation of inner being - emotional, and not to forget physical and mental challenges. as time goes by however, those traits can be picked up but of course through great and deliberate efforts to understand and keen observations rather than through reading or formal training . in that sense, experience is perhaps the best teacher. (or experiencing an experience ourselves is perhaps can precisely make us learn. some people are experienced (in the sense that they are older ((and I suppose wiser ?)) but they do not necessarily learn)

far more crucial is how much we have tried to learn, to emulate and to seek and diversify knowledge and experience itself. here too comes the term life-long learning. there’s no book, journal, paper or research or even short-cut and fast rule to refer to. instead, the openness to learn, to change, to tolerate , to adapt and to step outside the usual sphere or comfort zone will do the difference. life indeed is an adventure of its own for those who have courage to take the road less travelled.

behind every great man

last May marked the completion of my husband and my one year assignment abroad. a year has just passed. yes, just a year, and it has been filled and full of moments of trepidation, worries, and trials that have been pushing us to the limit. Yet, the very same one year has also given us more life wisdom, hard-earned experience we wouldn't get through formal learning, love and more courage to embrace life.

diplomatic life... How indeed, it's more than a glamorous life within diplomatic corps. It's beyond than the willingness to accept a normadic life, the sacrifice to let go one's own career and interest so one can fully support the husband and children while in posting, the acceptance and tolerance of one's husband's goal as one's, the readiness to leave behind many loved ones, the adjustment and adaptation in new cultures and customs, and ultimately, the ability to project the best image of the country one represents. it wouldn't be too much probably to say that a diplomat's wife's roles are akin to those of her husband, if not even greater and yet invisible. Here perhaps comes the saying, behind every great man, indeed, there is always a great woman.

diplomatic life. no matter how fabulous or how treacherous it could be, we would be more than ready to brace you.